What Comes First?

What comes first – forgiving someone or loving someone? Can you love someone only after you’ve forgiven them, or is love the necessary precondition for forgiving someone? The Apostle John points us in the right direction.

“FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD, THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHALL NOT PERISH, BUT HAVE ETERNAL LIFE.” JOHN 3:16

Does God forgive us in order to love us, or does His love for us precede His forgiveness of us? The Apostle John tells us that God’s love precedes His forgiveness. Forgiveness is the expression of love. This means that if you can’t or won’t or don’t forgive someone, the real problem isn’t your withholding of forgiveness but your lack of love for that person. The refusal to forgive is actually a crisis of love. Your problem isn’t that you can’t or won’t or don’t forgive that person – your problem is that you don’t love that person.

“BUT GOD DEMONSTRATES HIS OWN LOVE TOWARD US, IN THAT WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS, CHRIST DIED FOR US.” ROMANS 5:8

The normal response to an enemy is that you want them to die. Here, God sent Christ to die for His enemies. The death of Christ demonstrates His love for His enemies. The resurrection of Christ reveals His power over death. The gospel of Christ is His offer of forgiveness.

The Great Awakening was a religious revival in the early 18th century. Millions of people experienced the love and forgiveness of God through the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Great Awokening of the early 21st century is a secular movement that has resulted in Cancel Culture. Cancel Culture is the opposite of forgiveness. Cancel Culture is the manifestation of hate, which results in toppled statues, renamed schools, destroyed relationships, and savaged reputations. Whereas forgiveness is the ultimate acceptance by God, Cancel Culture is the ultimate rejection by man. Cancel Culture is what you get when you depart from the love of God in Jesus Christ.

The so-called justice of the Great Awokening has multiplied hate, divided a nation, added barriers between people groups, and subtracted forgiveness and has regarded it as the tool of the oppressor against the oppressed. The Great Awokening justifies, glorifies, and actually demands the suppression of love and the withholding of forgiveness. Cancel Culture is what happens when a sweet grape becomes a tasteless raisin – all shriveled up and sour.

“So, Pastor Tim – I’m supposed to love the man who raped me, that pervert who molested me, that man who sold the drugs to my son that killed him? I’m supposed to forgive my wife who cheated on me, my business partner who defrauded me, the next-door neighbor from hell?”

Yes, you are. While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Your sin against God is so much greater than others’ sin against you. “What? I didn’t rape God, and I’m not the next-door neighbor from hell.” No doubt, yet your sin was instrumental in the crucifixion and death of Christ. If you and I had no sin, Christ would not have needed to die. And yet God still loves those who necessitated the sacrifice of His Son. His love for you motivates His forgiveness of you.

If you don’t love and forgive others, it doesn’t mean that you are a wicked person. What it means is that you have not yet comprehended the vastness – the height, the depth, the breadth, and the length of the love of God. Your struggle with forgiveness is actually a poverty of love. Why is it easy to forgive your children, your spouse, and your best friends? It’s easy because you love them. Why is it difficult to forgive the next-door neighbor from hell? It’s because you don’t love them. They deserve your judgment. They have no right to forgiveness. Welcome to Cancel Culture. Cancel Culture is what happens when people run out of love and forgiveness.

I am so glad that God didn’t cancel the human race. I am so blessed that when we were still enemies, God in Christ sought to make us His friends. Forgiveness makes friends of enemies. I am so thankful for God’s love and forgiveness. I am blessed to be called the friend of God.